Day 1 Morocco, Mararakech, Ksar Anika

Flight EA1411 was remarkable in many ways and everything you might expect from the worlds cheapest airline and more. The plane couldn't take off for half an hour because the staff had done a miscount and had to ask passengers to announce the missing names in Arabic (lutons finest aren't exactly linguists. We took off half an hour LATE but arrived half an hour EARLY, nuts i know!
Marrakech airport looked stunning and we prepared for the usual international hub queue's in immigration. The gods were smiling on us and after a brief wait at the back of the longest queue a plain clothes magician/official pointed us to the diplomatic passport queue with a grunt EMPTY!
To round of this magnificent display of efficiency our bags were already on the turntable and 12 minutes after the doors opened we were in the arrivals hall looking for our man from Marrakech. We can forgive him turning up a few minutes late as we weren't even meant to be in morocco yet. Our driver Mohammed then whisked us away in a brand new Toyota land cruiser with more space than business class on Emirates. All in all a welcome change to airline travel anywhere else in the world.

Our hotel ksar Anika proved its security on arrival, the security guard took 5 minutes to open the door. Made very welcome with Moroccan tea on arrival the porter wanted us to relax after such a stressful time at the airport. Alas we had to inform him that we were indeed early And the airport had been a breeze and that a gin and tonic would not go amiss. As with all things too good to be true the hotel has one minor flaw. There is no gin! I asked for a beer?There is no beer! We were then offered white wine! There was no white wine! At last a bottle of fine red wine appeared. It appears a group of 20 English have left this morning having drained this quarter any liquid with alcohol in.

Our room is huge and unfortunately we have destroyed it already. Fran has pulled part of the loo wall off ans our clothes make a nice Moroccan carpet feature. After a lovely dinner including my personal favourites a mezzo of stewed oboe rhinos and two other types of vegetable based goo and a bowl of olives. The chicken taggine however was delightful and much to my taste. Fran of course is in heaven.

We ventured out as all tired idiots do on their first night in a strange town. After 5 minutes casually strolling down dark alleys the lovely security guard from the hotel appeared on a bike to escort us to the square. He actually gave the wife a little bollocking for carrying an open bag at 11pm down dark streets at least that's what I understood. A quick check of handbag city and we decided to refresh the thirst and hailed a horse drawn cab to the la mamounia the old palace refurbed into one of the most opulent hotel in the world containing the Churchill rooms and amazing furniture bands and bars.after the largest vodka martini in the world we headed home to prepare for shopping day.aaaaargh.